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World Cup Daily: Brazil receive the greatest thrashing ever

| 09.07.2014

In The Headlines

There’s only one place to start and pretty much remain with throughout today’s World Cup Daily, the horror show that was Brazil’s 7-1 hammering at the hands of Germany.

A performance so awful, it would take three weeks to describe each and every goal and the various ways in which the Brazil put in the worst team display ever seen contrasted only by the ruthless efficiency and brilliance of Die Mannschaft.

Rather than look at the game, let’s just sample some of the 16 records smashed by the result with the most obvious being that Miroslav Klose has officially erased Ronaldo from World Cup history with his 16th strike at the finals.

Remember Ronaldo, scorer of great World Cup goals?

Yeah, he’s been replaced by a scorer of headers, tap-ins and….did I say headers already?

Worse still, the game saw Germany overtake Brazil as the highest scoring team in World Cup history (cheers boys!) as well as inflicting their worst ever home defeat, the worst ever defeat in a World Cup semi-final, the worst ever defeat for a host nation and, obviously, their worst ever defeat to Die Mannschaft. Check out the full list here!

Needless to say, I think Chris Morris put it best in Brass Eye:

The Non-England Camp

Phil Scolari fell on the sword, though the Brazil squad were no doubt already waiting to plunge into his back, taking the blame for the loss in much the same way many blame Gene Hackman for Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

“I will be remembered as the coach to lose 7-1 but I knew that risk when I took the job,” he told reporters.

Yes Phil, you were always acutely aware there was a chance you would suffer the worst defeat in the history of Brazilian football, even when you said the Selecao had one hand on the trophy.

Neymar’s injury proved to be a blessing in disguise, with the Barcelona star able to continue advertising for 7up without feeling even a remote twinge of irony.


Elsewhere assembled Brazil players may not have yet finished crying.

Injury List

Robin van Persie is the only injury concern ahead of Holland vs Argentina with Angel Di Maria already out and Sergio Aguero all set to return.

RVP has a nasty tummy bug – get well soon Robin otherwise Klaas Jan-Huntelaar may be forced to play more than his customary five minutes. Dirk Kuyt could also fill in in attack – he’s played pretty much everywhere else!

Fan Watch

While Brazil as a collective nation screamed in the wake of their World Cup catastrophe, one man was singled out for a special bashing: Fred.

Scorer of one (offside) goal at this tournament, the 30-year-old striker, who plays for Fluminense may want to consider a move abroad. Maybe he could join David Villa in Australia and drink all the beer he wants?

With the majority of his touches coming in the centre circle, fans were treated to his stunned reaction with each and every goal – a timely reminder that perhaps a fat Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Adriano or heck even Romario would have done a better job.

In Other News

Word on the street is that one man had seen enough of the shambles played out and took the law into his own hands, to issue his a World Cup rollicking to the shame of the Selecao.

Step forward Cafu – World Cup winner, Champions League winner and all round badass. Thrown out by the president of the Brazilian football federation, it’s not clear what he said, but we are pretty sure a large proportion of it was directed at clown-in-chief Maicon.

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Jack Beresford

Jack Beresford is a content writer with over five years of experience in writing about sport and betting, including a two-year spell with Axonn Media. Contributes articles to HereIsTheCity and Lad Bible, while previous credits include Bwin, FTB Pro, Bleacher Report and the QBE rugby. Avid follower of tennis, rugby union, motorsport and football, Jack also writes about poker for Cardspiel.com alongside Guardian journalist Dominic Wells.