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World Cup Daily: Jean-Luc Picard has his say on Suarez

| 03.07.2014

In The Headlines

With the World Cup taking a couple of days off in between the second round and quarter-final stage, the Independent has moved to teleport Star Trek: The Next Generation star Patrick Stewart into the debate surrounding Luis Suarez.

“…What has been especially disappointing is the reactions of the other Uruguayans [players]. And the nation, in fact, from the President down, who seem to be in absolute denial about what an abhorrent guy Suarez is.”

Spot on Pat, now let’s relive his cameo in Extras and how he imagined the World Cup playing out.

Speaking of England, former Three Lions managerial flop and all-round World Cup hater Fabio Capello is facing a grilling from far-right MP Vladimir Zhirinovsky who called on the Russia manager to appear before parliament for a grilling over the national team’s early exit.

“We need to look into his work and ask him to resign,” he told the Russian media. “But he’s greedy, so of course he won’t. It’s pretty good to get [millions] for doing nothing. The team lost and it doesn’t affect his pay in any way. Thief!” Roll on Russia 2018 – the question remains as to whether Capello and his 1980s burger restaurant vest will be present.


The non-England Camp

Fresh from slagging off his young and inexperienced Brazil squad – the one he hand-picked – and amid rumours he has questioned the mentality of cry-baby-captain-in-chief Thiago Silva, Phil Scolari has done the next logical thing – called in the team psychologist.

With a number of players evidently nervous and in tears as the team prepared for penalty kicks against Chile. Given that Pele once compared the 1950 loss on home soil with the assassination of JFK you can kind of see why.


Meanwhile the Selecao continue to sweat on the fitness of star man Neymar, who could yet miss the quarter-final clash with Colombia. I have a bad feeling about this.

Injury List

Sergio Aguero continues to be sidelined for Argentina – the only national team where that news is seemingly a blessing in disguise.

Elsewhere, Costa Rica goalkeeper Keylor Navas is struggling with an injury though Le Sele have been boosted by the news that Robin van Persie may also miss their crunch clash.

France could also benefit from the outbreak of flu in the German camp, with as many as seven of Joachim Loew’s squad suffering with illness in the build-up to the game.

Fan Watch

In the midst of their best-ever World Cup, Colombia fans have been granted a special day off work by the country’s president Juan Manuel Santos to watch Friday’s quarter-final clash with hosts Brazil – can we have one too Dave?

Meanwhile Pierre van Hooijdonk can add Mexico fans to a personal enemies list already containing supporters of Glasgow Rangers and Nottingham Forest, after the 1998 Holland World Cup squad player told El Tri fans to “**** off” with complaints about Arjen Robben’s maybe dive.

Here’s a video of the Dutchman banging in a free-kick for Feyenoord in the 2002 UEFA Cup final – see, he wasn’t all bad!

In Other News

Looking to commemorate the World Cup in a unique, hipster kind of way? Then head to Rob Ferrel’s barbershop in San Antonio, Texas for a special kind of haircut incorporating your favourite World Cup star.

Featuring favourites like Lionel Messi and Javier Hernandez, it’s surely only a matter of time before someone asks for a Rooney…surely?

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Jack Beresford

Jack Beresford is a content writer with over five years of experience in writing about sport and betting, including a two-year spell with Axonn Media. Contributes articles to HereIsTheCity and Lad Bible, while previous credits include Bwin, FTB Pro, Bleacher Report and the QBE rugby. Avid follower of tennis, rugby union, motorsport and football, Jack also writes about poker for Cardspiel.com alongside Guardian journalist Dominic Wells.