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Paul M’Ince Pie tops our list of Festive Footballers

| 24.12.2015

We couldn’t just let Christmas go by without the annual attempt to come up with the best festive footballing names. 

It simply wouldn’t be Christmas without an afternoon reeling off name after name with your mates.

What is Christmas without a jokey chortle over Paul M’Ince Pie? Or what about former Man City defender Michael Ball-ble… (We’ve worked hard on this).

Roque Santa Cruz won’t be coming to anybody’s home this year without his Sleigh Bromby, and he can’t leave the North Pole unless he has his trusty Claudio Reyndeer.

They say Santa lives in the North Pole, but football fanatics know it as Rory De-Lapland.

Meanwhile your Christmas dinner is nothing without a few Ryan Piggs in Blankets.

And of course we all know the tale of Jesus, Mary and the Three (Dennis) Wise Men.

Who doesn’t love a few Christmas (Roy) Carrolls, or some Febian Brandy Snaps?

Trust is always required for the household chef, lest you end up with an Over (David) Dunn Turkey.

A few bottles of Champagne ought to get folks into the festive spirit, so how about a bottle of Ed de Moet?

Remember to listen out for Santa’s familiar call – (Jose Mourinho) Ho ho

Oh and then there’s the music – what’s that line in 12 days of Christmas? – that’s it, five Gold (Torsten) Frings and don’t forget about those two Skrtel Doves…

And then to round it all off, there’s Noddy Holder’s famous band – (Russell) Slade.

We quite like our little list of puntastic players and bosses (well, most of them… OK half of them), and if you’ve got suggestions let us know in the comments section below!

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Richard Marsh

Richard loves his sport, especially if it involves the sound of tyres screaming around a race track. He's not fussy though and his '90s Premier League nostalgia and knowledge of team nicknames is tough to match.